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How to Choose Self-Love on Valentine’s Day


“How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you” - Rupi Kaur

Valentine’s Day can be a hard day for a lot of people because of the focus on relationships. This year, I challenge you to look inward at the relationship you have with yourself. Find ways to love yourself throughout the day, like reciting affirmations in the mirror or jotting down ten things you love about yourself in your journal. The fun part is, when you start to genuinely love yourself, the vibration you emit shifts, and the person who matches your vibration will find you. Literally everything stems from self-love, and when you truly embrace the journey, everything makes a little more sense, and nothing seems impossible.

Self-love is often recognized as taking a hot bath, enjoying a cup of tea while reading your favorite book, relaxing with a face mask, treating ourselves to new clothes, etc., but self-love is not just about pampering yourself (although that is fun!) Self-love is the result we get when we stop treating ourselves as our own worst critic. It is a process and a journey, but if you put the work in, you will get there - maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow - but someday.

Here are my 3 Self-Love tips to get you started:


I know this might sound counterintuitive since we are talking about loving ourselves, but this is a very important step to embrace. Once you are comfortable with who you are, you will notice that you want to help others feel the same. Use your words for the greater good - help others out, while helping yourself. We should exist to uplift those around us rather than tearing them down. Take that step to tell people in your life how great they are, how much you appreciate them, and how what they do matters. People love to be recognized and feel resonated with - it brings us together and makes us feel seen. 


We often set standards much higher for ourselves in comparison to others. The negative self-talk that creeps in (often when we are trying to sleep) about not being able to achieve something, being too old, not being pretty enough, striking out for our dream job, etc., is self-talk that is not needed and not helping in any way. Try and let go of those thoughts and be gentle with yourself. Forgive yourself just like you do with everyone who is not you. Instead of beating yourself up - forgive, forget, and be open to change those traits that don’t serve you or others. 


Become unafraid to express who you are and how you feel. I know what you’re thinking… nobody wants to be the “annoying” friend, wife, brother, etc., who dumps all their problems on everyone. But you have family and close friends who support you and are happy to be there for you. The reality is that keeping your emotions bottled up inside doesn’t help anyone, because eventually they are going to come out, in a big way. These blow-ups can be easily avoided if we work with our emotions and express them daily. There are so many outlets to utilize to put your emotions forth - journaling, spending time outdoors, talking to a therapist or friend, doodling, listening to healing music - just to name a few. Being honest with your emotions is the most freeing thing you can do for yourself, and will help you live an authentic life.

There are so many more tips, tricks, products, etc., that I could recommend - but these are a few of my favorites because of the immense impact they can have on your well-being. Just remember, even if you don’t have a partner right now, the relationship you have with yourself is by far the most incredible one. Work on yourself, and you won’t have to look for that person anymore - they will find you. Happy Valentine’s Day my Serena Loves Family!  

XO - Serena

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